


everything i never knew

by pleaseleave



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, I hate tags, M/M, Nightmares, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:43:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleaseleave/pseuds/pleaseleave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Eren wakes from a nightmare and Armin's there to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything i never knew

Eren shoots straight up, blankets falling off him. _Breathe_ , he reminds himself as soon as he realizes that he's not watching a titan eat his mom (after it already ate Armin and Mikasa), but instead is in his bed in the barracks, _breathe and then go the fuck back to sleep_. He's had nightmares for the past four years now, but he's pretty sure that none of the others (except Armin, obviously) ever noticed – he prides himself on that.

Eren looks around in the darkness, still taking deep breaths; it looks like no one's awake, so this is a good thing, at least.

But when he lies back down, he hears a soft, “Eren, are you okay?” and hears Armin move around in his own bed.

“Sorry,” he says, trying his best to sound normal and to not sound like he just woke from a nightmare, “I didn't mean to wake you.”

Eren knows that Armin's picked up on him avoiding the question. “Did you have a nightmare?” he pauses. Then, “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks quietly. And Eren does want to talk about it; but at the same time he doesn't want to talk about it.

So instead of answering, he reaches out blindly, until he finds Armin's hand and curls his fingers around the other's smaller, softer ones. Armin presses his hand and they lie in silence for a while.

And Eren keeps clinging to Armin's hand, like he's drowning and Armin's his life-line – which is how he feels a lot of the time. Armin moves closer and draws him in, until Eren's head's against his chest and their legs are tangled. Eren wraps his arms around Armin and presses as close as possible, until he can feel their hearts beat against each other.

He hears a chocked-off sob escape from his lips and very much wants to punch himself in the face, but instead he just presses his eyes shut and hopes that by some weird stroke of luck Armin hasn't noticed anything.

“It's okay, Eren, don't worry,” Armin says, and Eren clutches at his shirt and burrows his face in Armin's chest, so the other won't see him cry (not that he'd see much in the darkness anyway). Which is silly, really, because Armin's seen him cry so often that he's already lost count.

"It's just me. You can cry,” Armin says, because apparently he always knows exactly what Eren's thinking.

And suddenly Eren feels like they've lost so much time with each other, because he never really sees Armin in training, and also because Eren spends a lot of what little free-time he has by thinking about killing titans.

“What did you dream about?” Armin asks softly, threading his fingers through Eren's hair.

“Just, you know, titans eating everyone I care about” he laughs, but it's too loud and too hallow to sound natural; Armin doesn't say anything, though. “The usual.”

He laughs again, and this time Armin says, “It's okay” even though it isn't, and probably never will be. But he knows that Armin knows that, because Armin's the smartest person Eren's ever met.

He listens to Armin's even breaths, and it's calming him down a little, and he trails the fingers of his free hand up and down Armin's thigh. Armin's leg twitches a little, but he doesn't say anything, so Eren guesses it's okay.

“Do you need anything?” Armin says, and Eren feels really stupid; he's just that silly kid that Armin always needs to calm down and he tightens his arms around Armin, because he can't bear the thought of not having this anymore – of Armin realizing that Eren's not even strong enough to deal with nightmares himself. And he feels himself crying harder, but this time it's angry tears, which might even be worse than sad tears.

“Just, you know, this,” he says, but it sounds too much like a sob, moving a little upwards to press his face into the curve of Armin's neck.

Armin smells of home, and sleepless nights spent talking about the outside world, and being held after a fight, and of what Eren imagines the ocean to smell like. And it reminds him of their childhood and of a time where his mom was still alive and where everything was still okay(ish), and suddenly it feels like he's suffocating.

Armin takes one of Eren's hands and presses them against his lips; he's smiling a little. And Eren realizes that he hasn't seen Armin smile much lately, and he knows he should've done something about this, but he's always too occupied with training.

“I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend,” he says.

Armin makes a weird choked-off sound. “Why – why would you say that?” his voice incredibly silent.

Eren feels Armin's fingers stroke his hair and says, “Because I don't pay enough attention to you, and you're not happy and I know that, but I don't do anything about it and -”

Armin cuts him off, his voice soft, “I'm happy now, okay? So don't ruin it.”

“Okay,” Eren agrees and presses his face against Armin's neck again.

Eren twirls a strand of blond hair around his finger and brushes it behind Armin's ear, because he's always loved touching Armin's hair. He feels tear-stains on Armin's cheeks when his fingers brush his skin, and wipes them away roughly with the back of his hand – just like he did back when they were children.

“Sorry,” Armin says, sounding embarrassed.

“It's okay, Armin,” Eren says, “you can cry,” mirroring Armin's words from before and Armin sighs a little.  
  
Armin shifts, until they're lying face-to-face. Neither of them is crying anymore.

When Eren turns his face, he can feel Armin's breath against the side of his neck, and he can feel his cock twitch a little at that. For a second “ _why the fuck does this turn me on?_ ” shoots through his head, but then all he thinks is “ _fuck it_ ” when Armin presses a kiss to his neck.

Eren's stops running his fingers up and down Armin's leg, and and instead starts stroking them along Armin's waistband. He desperately wants to put his hand down Armin's pants, but he's not sure if Armin'd be okay with it, and it would be kind of weird to ask.

Armin suddenly sits up and smooths a blanket over his legs and Eren thinks (hopes, more like) that it's because he's got a boner now.

Eren blinks for a second, because this is pretty sudden, but then he sits up on his knees as well, facing Armin, and cups Armin's face with both hands, thumbs brushing over Armin's cheekbones.

“Can I kiss you?” Eren wants to ask, but before he even opens his mouth, Armin scrambles atop Eren's lap and presses his mouth to Eren's.

He pulls away a moment later, and Eren knows Armin's blushing like mad (and for a second he's upset that he can't see it), but he's not moving away – and Eren doesn't want him to either. He's still cupping Armin's face, and so Eren draws him in again.

It's inexperienced and awkward, when their mouths first start moving against each other, because even while they did kiss a lot when they were younger – they never did it like this. And then Armin's tongue's in his mouth and it's clumsy and neither of them knows what they're doing; it's perfect.

And Armin tastes like like those sweets they got on special occasions back at Shingashina and his lips are soft and so's his mouth when Eren explores every part of it with his tongue.

Armin's the first to pull away.

“Well,” he says. “That was – um – yeah.”

Eren can't help but let out a happy little laugh, as he answers, “Very.”

“Let's do it again,” says Armin finally, when they've been sitting in silence for too long – and it's a different kind of silence then the ones they usually have together, because this one is uncomfortable.

So Eren nods (even though Armin can't see it anyway) and kisses him again, and slowly moves them down onto the bed, until he's straddling Armin's lap. He kisses Armin, until they're both breathless and let out quiet little moans against each other's mouths. But when Eren slides a leg between Armin's, Armin groans loud enough that he might've actually woken someone up – but no one says anything, so they forget about it.  
One of his hands is tangled in Armin's hair and the other's stroking Armin's side, as their mouths move against each other.  
He thinks he'll have marks form where Armin's nails are scraping against his back, and he gets a little thrill from thinking about that.

He bites and sucks at Armin's neck, because he wants to mark him, because he wants everyone to see that Armin's _his_ – and the intensity of that thought scares him for a second.

“Eren?” Armin gasps, as Eren slips a hand under his shirt, fingers trailing over his stomach.

Eren kisses him again. “What?”

“I'll be in so much trouble if anyone notices!” but he doesn't sound angry; more amused, actually.

He bites Eren's nose.

“Sorry,” Eren says, but he doesn't really manage to sound sorry; he doesn't try very much in the first place.

He rests their foreheads together and their breaths mingle. Suddenly Eren's overcome with a wave of something he can't really name – he just knows that he needs to keep Armin save, keep Armin _with him_. He's crying again.

“I'll kill all the titans that ever try to hurt you, Armin, I swear,” Eren tells him, the somber-effect kind of ruined by the way he sniffles and rubs a hand roughly over his eyes. “All the humans, too.”

“Oh, Eren,” Armin says, and Eren's not sure if he's sounding fond or exasperated; but by the way Armin leans up a little to drop a kiss to Eren's collarbone, he guesses it's the former.

They start moving against each other again – the desire to feel each other outweighing their desire to have a conversation just now. 

He feels Armin cupping his cock through the fabric of his pants, and Eren sits up, straddling Armin's lap again, to give him better access. They stare at each other for a long moment, while Armin palms his erection.

“Um,” says Eren very eloquently.

“Is this okay?” Armin asks, before he slips his hand under Eren's waistband, his eyes impossibly wide in the darkness.

“Yeah,” he says, “that's very o- holy shit,” he adds, when Armin starts stroking his cock.

Armin giggles, sounding a little embarrassed, and leans up to kiss him, “Shush.”  
  
And he knows they have to keep quiet now, but he likes to think that someday they'll have a place by the ocean – after they killed all the titans – and they won't have to be.

“Do you,” Armin hesitates, his hand pausing, “what do you think about when you do, uh, that?” He strokes Eren's cock again – probably for emphasis.

“Holy -,” he cuts himself off, because he just realizes what Armin said, “are you trying to talk dirty to me?”

He can't fight the grin that's tugging at his mouth, because from the way Armin's shifting against him, Eren knows that he's blushing. He leans down and presses a sloppy kiss to Armin's cheek.

“No,” Armin replies petulantly, “I was just trying to make conversation.” His hand stills again.

“Don't stop,” Eren tells him, and ruts himself into Armin's hand, until he starts moving his hand again.

“You're probably just thinking about killing titans anyway.”

Eren laughs – and hears someone shift in his bed, which is why he's extra-quiet when he says, “Oh yeah, all the time!”

“Do you think about me?” his voice is so quiet that Eren has actually strain himself to hear it.

He wants to slap himself in the face, because he's not been able to work out that that's what Armin was getting at.

Eren moves from where he's still straddling Armin's lap and helps Armin to shimmy out of his pants and push them down to his ankles.

He drops a kiss to Armin's stomach and says, “I do.”

He mouths his way down the trail of soft blond hair as Armin asks, “More often then about killing titans?”

And Eren starts laughing and he can't stop, even when Armin pokes his face and hisses, “Be quiet!”

He crawls forward until he's face to face with Armin, and kisses him and he's still laughing, and tells Armin, “Probably even.”

And now Armin's giggling too, and he swats at Eren's face, but Eren keeps kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his nose – and he can't believe that they have this now, even in the midst of all the horrible things going on around them.

“Armin,” he says, and notes how all traces of mirth have disappeared from his voice, but Armin just looks at him, and he knows he doesn't even have to say anything, because Armin understands him anyway.

Eren bites Armin's bottom lip, before he moves downwards again, and this time actually brushes Armin's cock with his mouth.

“Fuc-” He's pretty sure that this is the first time he's ever heard Armin swearing, so he licks a strip down the length, because he really wants him to do it again.

“Shit!” says Armin and fists his hand in Eren's hair, and Eren can tell that he's trying not to be too rough. Eren would really like to see Armin being rough – that'd be a first too. He licks around the head, before he takes the entire thing in his mouth.

Armin moans really loudly (Eren's not sure how that didn't wake everyone up, but he won't question it), and it's probably the hottest thing Eren's ever heard.  
  
Eren's not really sure what to do with the cock in his mouth now though, but he's overheard enough conversations about that sort of thing, so he just starts moving his head up and down, starts licking at it – from the way Armin's fingers tighten in his hair and he's groaning, muffled by his fist, he guesses it's not so bad.

It doesn't take long until Armin tells him, “I'm gonna -” and Eren doesn't even have time to think of moving, before Armin spills down his throat. He swallows it all, because apparently people like that (and also because he doesn't have anywhere to spit it, even if he didn't swallow).

Eren comes up kisses him and Armin tells him, “You're disgusting”, but kisses him again anyway. He starts jerking Eren's cock again when Eren lies down on his back next to him, but he he's too exhausted and so his hand just moving tiredly up and down. Eren covers it with his, because then it'll still be _Armin's_ hand.

He cums all over both their hands and his stomach, but doesn't give the mess much thought (they'll just have to clean it up in the morning), when he pulls Armin atop of himself and runs a cum-smeared hand through Armin's hair.

“Did – did you just seriously rub semen in my hair?” he asks, laughter in his voice.

“Sorry,” Eren says breathlessly, and rests their foreheads together. Then, “We should do that again.”

Armin rubs his nose against Eren's. “Yeah.”

“Okay, dude, seriously,” comes Jean's sleepy voice form the other side of the room, “can you two shut the fuck up already, there's people trying to sleep here!”

Someone murmurs his agreement and Eren doesn't even want to get up and kick Jean's stupid-ass horseface in, because he's too happy holding Armin, who's embarrassedly hiding his face in the crook of Eren's neck. Eren can still feel him smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i realize in retrospect that the title doesn't really have anything to do with the story, but it made sense at the time.  
> um so please tell me what you think if you want.


End file.
